Jokes Comedy Lines | Stats/Math Jokes

#	Title	Hits	Rating
1	All numbers are equal - \|Theorem: All numbers are equal.Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a ... Read the whole joke	37	0
2	Answering machine - \|Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at ho... Read the whole joke	35	0
3	Crocodile is longer - \|Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is gree... Read the whole joke	35	0
4	Debate about the box - \|An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep,... Read the whole joke	42	0.5
5	Dollars equal cents - \|Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2=... Read the whole joke	39	0
6	Dollars equal ten cents - \|Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cen... Read the whole joke	42	0
7	Equal positive integers - \|Theorem: All positive integers are equal.Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive intege... Read the whole joke	39	0
8	Four is equal to five - \|Theorem: 4 = 5Proof:-20 = -2016 - 36 = 25 - 454^2 - 94 = 5^2 - 954^2 - 94 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 95 + 8... Read the whole joke	45	0
9	Log negative one zero - \|Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0... Read the whole joke	47	0
10	Math is turning bad - \|"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the... Read the whole joke	34	0
11	Misunderstood people - \|1. They speak only the Greek language.2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonn... Read the whole joke	43	0
12	N equals N plus one - \|Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n... Read the whole joke	42	0
13	Numbers equal zero - \|Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.Proof: Suppose that a=b. Thena = ba^2 = aba^2 - b^2 = ab - ... Read the whole joke	35	0
14	One equal to one half - \|Theorem: 1 = 1/2:Proof:We can re-write the infinite series 1/(13) + 1/(35) + 1/(57) + 1/(79)+..... Read the whole joke	37	0
15	One is negative one - \|Theorem: 1 = -1Proof:1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1Also one can dispro... Read the whole joke	36	0
16	One plus one are two - \|Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2Proof:n(2n - 2) = n(2n - 2)n(2n - 2) - n(2n - 2) = 0(n - n)(2n - 2) = 02n(n - n) ... Read the whole joke	37	0
17	Proof E equal to one - \|Theorem: e=1Proof:2e = f2^(2pii)e^(2pii) = f^(2pii)e^(2pii) = 1Therefore:2^(2pi*i) = f^(2... Read the whole joke	36	0
18	Purchasing the shoes - \|A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. "No ... Read the whole joke	40	0
19	Reducing travel risk - \|There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before co... Read the whole joke	36	0
20	Refrigerate elephants - \|Analysis:1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.2. Redefine t... Read the whole joke	36	0
21	Risk of plane bombs - \|A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to ... Read the whole joke	32	0
22	Statistical one-liners - \|A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make... Read the whole joke	33	0
23	Story about infinity - \|A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, e... Read the whole joke	34	0
24	The birthday study - \|It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who ce... Read the whole joke	38	0
25	The fate of marriages - \|It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US, so one concludes tha... Read the whole joke	39	0